SEXEXPERIENCEUK -- A BRITISH SEX EDUCATION CHANNEL ON THE INTERNET
Your first "assignment" for week 2 is to go to the British sex education channel to see what is available to the public. The link is http://www.sexperienceuk.channel4.com/ and can be easily found by clicking HERE
As a side note, when I first attempted to find this channel on the WI FI at Judea Reform site it was BLOCKED, probably because of the younger population at the school. But this illustrates the difficulty faced by sex educators with perfectly valid sex information made unavailable by well meaning and valid censorship. We need to discuss this problem of providing good sex information vs protecting children from the truth when in involves sexuality.
***************************************************************************************** WITH PLEASURE: A View of Whole Sexual Anatomy for Every Body... One of the best descriptions of the anatomy and physiology of sexual PLEASURE I have ever run across. Written for medical students this site is a must read if you are still unsure of how your sexual parts work to give you sexual pleasure. Long and tedious but full of useful information. The link is HERE
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THE MISSING LINKS -- Some of the links in today's lecture might be of interest for closer study so here they are.
Franklin Veaux Lands of Human Sexuality This site shows a map of the Lands of Human Sexuality in All of its many and varied flavors. Sexual pleasure comes in many forms and it can be different for different people. You have to choose what you like and there are lots of choices. Link is HERE
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SCARLETEEN: A major sex ed site for teenagers which gets millions of hits every year and is one of the best for teens and young adults. Your children and grandchildren should know about this site and you should look it over too, especially if you had no or little sex ed as a child. It is designed for teens but for those of you who had no sex education it is just full of useful information written in easy to understand language. The link to the home page is HERE
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For this class on sexual anatomy and physiology of sexual pleasure I strongly recommend you read THE ANATOMY OF PLEASURE which is major (and long) detailed look at sexual pleasure. This is in contrast to many sex negative sites that talk too much about reproduction and sexually transmitted diseases. This page spends a lot of time on the sexual anatomy as used for fun (read PLEASURE) and not for reproduction. A refreshing view on sexual pleasure from Scarleteen.com The link is HERE
WITH PLEASURE: A VIEW OF WHOLE SEXUAL ANATOMY FOR EVERY BODY The author of Scarleteen does a major job of exploring the anatomy of sexual pleasure HERE
And be sure you follow on with a look at the next section YIELD FOR PLEASURE which discusses in great detail much more on sexual pleasure. The link is HERE.
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THE STILL MISUNDERSTOOD SHAPE OF THE CLITORIS This article from The Atlantic magazine (March 9, 2017) discusses the anatomy and history of the clitoris. Excellent. The link is HERE
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Franklin Veaux Lands of Human Sexuality This site shows a map of the Lands of Human Sexuality in All of its many and varied flavors. Sexual pleasure comes in many forms and it can be different for different people. You have to choose what you like and there are lots of choices. Link is HERE
******************************************************************************
SCARLETEEN: A major sex ed site for teenagers which gets millions of hits every year and is one of the best for teens and young adults. Your children and grandchildren should know about this site and you should look it over too, especially if you had no or little sex ed as a child. It is designed for teens but for those of you who had no sex education it is just full of useful information written in easy to understand language. The link to the home page is HERE
*******************************************************************************
For this class on sexual anatomy and physiology of sexual pleasure I strongly recommend you read THE ANATOMY OF PLEASURE which is major (and long) detailed look at sexual pleasure. This is in contrast to many sex negative sites that talk too much about reproduction and sexually transmitted diseases. This page spends a lot of time on the sexual anatomy as used for fun (read PLEASURE) and not for reproduction. A refreshing view on sexual pleasure from Scarleteen.com The link is HERE
WITH PLEASURE: A VIEW OF WHOLE SEXUAL ANATOMY FOR EVERY BODY The author of Scarleteen does a major job of exploring the anatomy of sexual pleasure HERE
And be sure you follow on with a look at the next section YIELD FOR PLEASURE which discusses in great detail much more on sexual pleasure. The link is HERE.
*****************************************************************************
THE STILL MISUNDERSTOOD SHAPE OF THE CLITORIS This article from The Atlantic magazine (March 9, 2017) discusses the anatomy and history of the clitoris. Excellent. The link is HERE
*****************************************************************************
A WOMAN'S TOUCH: This is an amazing website for a sex shop run by two women. They sell sex toys, lubes, books, DVDs, and lots of other stuff about sex. BUT, their site is also a major source of practical sex information and I recommend you take a look around, especially at the educational section: The link is HERE
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Love Your Labia (3 MINUTES) A photo survey of the wide variety of labia with a message about labioplasty. Especially good for young women concerned about acceptability of their own genitalia AND considering labiaplasty (removal of the labia). This is a serious operation and may interfere with sexual pleasure for the remainder of her life.
http://instituteforsexuality.com/materials/love-your-labia/
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The Perfect Vagina (58 ninutes) A full length movie exploring labiaplasty in Great Brittan. Labiaplasty is a growing concern as young women see other women's "perfect" vulvas in pornography and think that to be attractive they must look similar. They fail to understand that removal of labial tissue can diminish sexual pleasure.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uMJcGcBc2t8#t=33
*******************************************************************************
Clitoraid: A Website with a variety of material about everything you ever wanted to know about the clitoris and woman's body acceptance.
http://www.clitoraid.org/clitoris
*******************************************************************************
The Six Biggest Lies You Have Been Told About Your Vagina: Salon Mag has a very direct article about vagina myths. The link is HERE
*******************************************************************************
MY PENIS AND I (58 minutes) A full length movie exploring what having a very small penis is all about.
http://vimeo.com/4619491
******************************************************************************
MY PENIS AND EVERYONE ELSE’S (58 minutes) An exploration of penises including penis enlargement surgery.
https://vimeo.com/11094452
******************************************************************************
RECOMMENDED BOOKS ON MASTURBATION: (for women)
1.Betty Dodson's, SEX FOR ONE: the Joy of Self-Loving
2. Lonnie Barbach's, FOR YOURSELF: the Fulfillment of Female Sexuality
3.Julia Heiman's, BECOMING ORGASMIC: a Sexual & Personal Growth Program for Women.
All three books offer a step by step program for women to follow recommended by sex therapists.
******************************************************************************
SOME WOMEN (2%) CAN HAVE AN ORGASM JUST BY THINKING ABOUT IT. Here is an article in the New York Times titled "I'll Have What She's Thinking" with more information. The link is HERE
******************************************************************************
FAKING ORGASMS
Sex Question Friday: How Many Women Fake Orgasms And Why Do They Do It?
August 17, 2012/ Dr. Justin J. Lehmiller
Every Friday on the blog, I answer people’s questions about sex, love, and relationships. This week, we’re talking about fake orgasms. Students in my Human Sexuality course typically ask the following two questions about this topic every semester:
How common is faking orgasms among women?
Why would a woman pretend to orgasm?
Research has found that the majority of women have “faked it” at least once in their lives. Specifically, most studies on this topic have reported that somewhere between one-half and two-thirds of women have had at least one make-believe climax [1]. Men sometimes fake orgasms too [2], but far fewer guys have ever attempted it due to the fact that it is harder for men to falsify the “evidence.”
In terms of reasons for faking it, women have given many different explanations. However, a recent study found that they typically fall into one of five categories [2]:
1. Orgasm was unlikely or was taking too long (e.g., they had consumed too much alcohol, their partner was unskilled or lacked experience, or they were engaging in a sexual activity that does not usually produce orgasm for them)
2. Desire for sex to end (e.g., they were not really “in the mood,” they were bored or sleepy, or they knew that their partner would not stop unless a climax occurred)
3. Their partner’s orgasm was imminent (i.e., the partner was about to orgasm, so they felt pressure to finish as well)
4. They wanted to avoid a negative consequence (e.g., they did not want to hurt their partner’s feelings or they wanted to avoid having an awkward conversation afterward). This was the most commonly reported set of reasons women faked it.
5. They wanted to achieve a positive consequence (e.g., they wanted to make their partner happy or make them feel as though they “did their job”)
In this study, women never reported faking it because they didn’t want an orgasm themselves—they always faked it for one of the above reasons.
Keep in mind that this is just one study and there are other possible explanations for why a woman might fake it. For instance, other research has suggested that at least some women fake it as a way of keeping their partner from cheating [3]. That is, some women may pretend to climax in order to make sure their partner is sexually satisfied so that they do not leave the relationship.
As you can see, fake orgasms are very common among women and they serve a number of different functions. If I can close by offering one small piece of advice on this topic, it would be that if faking is just a one-time or very occasional thing, it’s probably not a big deal; however, if you find yourself faking it regularly, this could create problems in your relationship. For one thing, continuous faking will not give your partner any incentive to try new techniques because they will think you're content. So if the reason you weren't reaching orgasm was because the sex wasn't very good, faking isn't going to change a thing. Moreover, if your partner eventually finds out that you've faked all of your orgasms, they may feel far worse than if you had simply been honest in the first place. Finally, with routine faking, you are actively contributing to your own sexual dissatisfaction. Keep in mind that your partner isn't the only one who deserves to be satisfied. If you want to achieve true sexual satisfaction, open and honest communication about your sexual desires and needs is key.
For past Sex Question Friday posts, see here. Want to learn more about The Psychology of Human Sexuality? Click here for a complete list of articles or like the Facebook page to get articles delivered to your newsfeed.
[1] Wiederman, M. W. (1997). Pretending orgasm during sexual intercourse: Correlates in a sample of young adult women. Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy, 23, 131–135.
[2] Muehlenhard, C. L., & Shippee, S. K. (2010). Men’s and women’s reports of pretending orgasm. Journal of Sex Research, 47, 552-567.
[3] Kaighobadi, F., Shackelford, T. K., Weekes-Shackelford, V. A. (in press). Do women pretend orgasm to retain a mate? Archives of Sexual Behavior.
Image Source: iStockphoto.com
You Might Also Like:
THE HUMAN PENIS AS A SEMEN DISPLACEMENT DEVICE -- If there is any interest in reading the original paper I have a copy I will by glad to share. Just E mail me.
Evolution and Human Behavior 24 (2003) 277–289
The human penis as a semen displacement device
Gordon G. Gallup Jr.*, Rebecca L. Burch1, Mary L. Zappieri, Rizwan A. Parvez, Malinda L. Stockwell, Jennifer A. Davis
Department of Psychology, State University of New York at Albany, 1400 Washington Avenue Albany, Albany, NY 12222, USA
Received 30 August 2002; received in revised form 25 March 2003
Inanimate models were used to assess the possibility that certain features of the human penis evolved to displace semen left by other males in the female reproductive tract. Displacement of artificial semen in simulated vaginas varied as a function of glans/coronal ridge morphology, semen viscosity, and depth of thrusting. Results obtained by modifying an artificial penis suggest that the coronal ridge is an important morphological feature mediating semen displacement. Consistent with the view of the human penis as a semen displacement device, two surveys of college students showed that sexual intercourse often involved deeper and more vigorous penile thrusting following periods of separation or in response to allegations of female infidelity.
D 2003 Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved. Keywords: Penis morphology; Paternity; Semen displacement; Sperm competition; Sexual behavior
*****************************************************************************
http://instituteforsexuality.com/materials/love-your-labia/
*******************************************************************************
The Perfect Vagina (58 ninutes) A full length movie exploring labiaplasty in Great Brittan. Labiaplasty is a growing concern as young women see other women's "perfect" vulvas in pornography and think that to be attractive they must look similar. They fail to understand that removal of labial tissue can diminish sexual pleasure.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uMJcGcBc2t8#t=33
*******************************************************************************
Clitoraid: A Website with a variety of material about everything you ever wanted to know about the clitoris and woman's body acceptance.
http://www.clitoraid.org/clitoris
*******************************************************************************
The Six Biggest Lies You Have Been Told About Your Vagina: Salon Mag has a very direct article about vagina myths. The link is HERE
*******************************************************************************
MY PENIS AND I (58 minutes) A full length movie exploring what having a very small penis is all about.
http://vimeo.com/4619491
******************************************************************************
MY PENIS AND EVERYONE ELSE’S (58 minutes) An exploration of penises including penis enlargement surgery.
https://vimeo.com/11094452
******************************************************************************
RECOMMENDED BOOKS ON MASTURBATION: (for women)
1.Betty Dodson's, SEX FOR ONE: the Joy of Self-Loving
2. Lonnie Barbach's, FOR YOURSELF: the Fulfillment of Female Sexuality
3.Julia Heiman's, BECOMING ORGASMIC: a Sexual & Personal Growth Program for Women.
All three books offer a step by step program for women to follow recommended by sex therapists.
******************************************************************************
SOME WOMEN (2%) CAN HAVE AN ORGASM JUST BY THINKING ABOUT IT. Here is an article in the New York Times titled "I'll Have What She's Thinking" with more information. The link is HERE
******************************************************************************
FAKING ORGASMS
Sex Question Friday: How Many Women Fake Orgasms And Why Do They Do It?
August 17, 2012/ Dr. Justin J. Lehmiller
Every Friday on the blog, I answer people’s questions about sex, love, and relationships. This week, we’re talking about fake orgasms. Students in my Human Sexuality course typically ask the following two questions about this topic every semester:
How common is faking orgasms among women?
Why would a woman pretend to orgasm?
Research has found that the majority of women have “faked it” at least once in their lives. Specifically, most studies on this topic have reported that somewhere between one-half and two-thirds of women have had at least one make-believe climax [1]. Men sometimes fake orgasms too [2], but far fewer guys have ever attempted it due to the fact that it is harder for men to falsify the “evidence.”
In terms of reasons for faking it, women have given many different explanations. However, a recent study found that they typically fall into one of five categories [2]:
1. Orgasm was unlikely or was taking too long (e.g., they had consumed too much alcohol, their partner was unskilled or lacked experience, or they were engaging in a sexual activity that does not usually produce orgasm for them)
2. Desire for sex to end (e.g., they were not really “in the mood,” they were bored or sleepy, or they knew that their partner would not stop unless a climax occurred)
3. Their partner’s orgasm was imminent (i.e., the partner was about to orgasm, so they felt pressure to finish as well)
4. They wanted to avoid a negative consequence (e.g., they did not want to hurt their partner’s feelings or they wanted to avoid having an awkward conversation afterward). This was the most commonly reported set of reasons women faked it.
5. They wanted to achieve a positive consequence (e.g., they wanted to make their partner happy or make them feel as though they “did their job”)
In this study, women never reported faking it because they didn’t want an orgasm themselves—they always faked it for one of the above reasons.
Keep in mind that this is just one study and there are other possible explanations for why a woman might fake it. For instance, other research has suggested that at least some women fake it as a way of keeping their partner from cheating [3]. That is, some women may pretend to climax in order to make sure their partner is sexually satisfied so that they do not leave the relationship.
As you can see, fake orgasms are very common among women and they serve a number of different functions. If I can close by offering one small piece of advice on this topic, it would be that if faking is just a one-time or very occasional thing, it’s probably not a big deal; however, if you find yourself faking it regularly, this could create problems in your relationship. For one thing, continuous faking will not give your partner any incentive to try new techniques because they will think you're content. So if the reason you weren't reaching orgasm was because the sex wasn't very good, faking isn't going to change a thing. Moreover, if your partner eventually finds out that you've faked all of your orgasms, they may feel far worse than if you had simply been honest in the first place. Finally, with routine faking, you are actively contributing to your own sexual dissatisfaction. Keep in mind that your partner isn't the only one who deserves to be satisfied. If you want to achieve true sexual satisfaction, open and honest communication about your sexual desires and needs is key.
For past Sex Question Friday posts, see here. Want to learn more about The Psychology of Human Sexuality? Click here for a complete list of articles or like the Facebook page to get articles delivered to your newsfeed.
[1] Wiederman, M. W. (1997). Pretending orgasm during sexual intercourse: Correlates in a sample of young adult women. Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy, 23, 131–135.
[2] Muehlenhard, C. L., & Shippee, S. K. (2010). Men’s and women’s reports of pretending orgasm. Journal of Sex Research, 47, 552-567.
[3] Kaighobadi, F., Shackelford, T. K., Weekes-Shackelford, V. A. (in press). Do women pretend orgasm to retain a mate? Archives of Sexual Behavior.
Image Source: iStockphoto.com
You Might Also Like:
- Sex Question Friday: Do Men Fake Orgasms Too?
- Do Women Fake Orgasms To Keep Their Partners From Cheating?
THE HUMAN PENIS AS A SEMEN DISPLACEMENT DEVICE -- If there is any interest in reading the original paper I have a copy I will by glad to share. Just E mail me.
Evolution and Human Behavior 24 (2003) 277–289
The human penis as a semen displacement device
Gordon G. Gallup Jr.*, Rebecca L. Burch1, Mary L. Zappieri, Rizwan A. Parvez, Malinda L. Stockwell, Jennifer A. Davis
Department of Psychology, State University of New York at Albany, 1400 Washington Avenue Albany, Albany, NY 12222, USA
Received 30 August 2002; received in revised form 25 March 2003
Inanimate models were used to assess the possibility that certain features of the human penis evolved to displace semen left by other males in the female reproductive tract. Displacement of artificial semen in simulated vaginas varied as a function of glans/coronal ridge morphology, semen viscosity, and depth of thrusting. Results obtained by modifying an artificial penis suggest that the coronal ridge is an important morphological feature mediating semen displacement. Consistent with the view of the human penis as a semen displacement device, two surveys of college students showed that sexual intercourse often involved deeper and more vigorous penile thrusting following periods of separation or in response to allegations of female infidelity.
D 2003 Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved. Keywords: Penis morphology; Paternity; Semen displacement; Sperm competition; Sexual behavior
*****************************************************************************
MY BEAUTIFUL SEX LIFE is a very modern sex education site for the young just learning about sexual expression. It is written by one of the best sex educators ever (Dr. Paul Joannides, author of The Guide To Getting It ON -- one of the best books on sexuality ever!) and can be found HERE. Lots of good information in visual form directed at pleasure and safe sex practices with NO moralizing.
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KINKLY A web site devoted to all things sexual from a very practical point of view. Lots of hints and tips for a more fun sex life. Lots of toy suggestions. The link is HERE.